Recently I attended a meeting to volunteer for Habitat for Humanity. As I sat watching the video and listening to the organizer explain the information, I found myself becoming very emotional. Within seconds I could feel tears welling up and knew another level of self-awareness was being revealed.
As a child I wanted to save the world. I would cry at the hardships and struggles of others, empathizing with the unfairness and injustice throughout the world. I could not understand why so many people were suffering and I was determined to somehow do something about it. I decided to get my degree in social work and arm myself with the tools that would guide me on my mission. I worked in the field for some years and even though my job was stressful, heartbreaking, and exhausting, I found great fulfillment in the contributions I was making. I was in my own little way saving the world.
There came a point when I decided to leave my career. I became pregnant with my son and never went back. My life changed tremendously as I juggled the responsibilities of being a wife and a mother. I became more and more disconnected from the part of myself that flourished when helping others. I would talk a great deal about charity and wanting to make a difference yet never seemed to actually make the time to do it. I had a million excuses and would tell myself that I would get to it at some point.
Recently I made a commitment to myself to participate in all of my interests without excuse, which is how I found myself filled with emotion at Habitat for Humanity. As I sat there tears flowed as I realized just how much I had lost myself over the years and began reconnecting with this essential part of me. In that moment it all came together that my purpose in my life is truly to connect with, inspire, and support others. I found myself more excited than I had been in a very long time with the anticipation of building houses and volunteering. I felt thrilled to be coming home to me.
It’s amazing to me how easily we lose these essential pieces of ourselves that allow us to truly feel alive. How easily we can become distracted and make excuses for not honoring what we feel in our hearts. It can happen without our even realizing it, but our hearts are aware and longing for us to wake up. Once we do awaken, the feeling of connection and awareness of who we truly are is elating, like long lost pieces of a puzzle fitting perfectly together. I journey forward reconnected with my desire to save the world and eager to live out my purpose.
“It’s never to late to be what you might have been” – George Eliot